^_^ sk ^_^
signing off here................. @Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:04:00 PM

yeshhh it had been a looong time ever since i updated..alot i mean reali alot of things happen frm Jan to April but it is either i am too lazy to update or i m too busy le...but i know that it is not an excuse..and i think that ppl might forget bout my blog...hurrayyy..cos it is reviving again..unknowingly..lol~

i seemed happy in my opening eh?but seriously that is the very opposite of what i am feeling now.. totally opposite..

to be exact, it had been some time ever since all my emotions went up and it happened today on 12th April 2008 at ard 2330. yeshh within a day i received or rather i duno 3 pieces of news that i wun want to hear it from. and maybe the last thing that i ever want to hear it.



first thing is on the co*c*ing class..

i just feel that i still want to put the whole entry here even if the ppl involved read it or what, i think that i wun care.
how to put it?...it is our baby or rather initially it isnt ours till last term, chairman allocate it to us after she suddenly vanished le..so xm grace n i xin xin ku ku de maintain the class. it is reali a nightmare when u have to look after 4 different levels at a time when there's lack of coaches. alot of challenges faced..students not coming, coaches not coming and din inform at all. but we still able to cope it by maintaining the class till e youth officer told us to submit as one of e paym special project. we went thru e whole process n got the award. the feeling is indescribable.it is definitely not possible to use a few words to say it all.
how do i begin now?...
hmmm situation is i have revision classes on sat frm march onwards. who can prevent it? moreover it is me, one of my weaker subjects too.. therefore i cant help in the co*c*ing class for a few mths. and a no of things happen.
i duno who to push the blame to or rather i trust and believe my coaches therefore i guess that i have to put all the blame to myself?..but wo bing bu shuang bout certain things. it could have been my overlooking of things or i think too highly of ppl, believing that they can cope without me?..n i guess that i m wrong?...i m very luan now, alot of things just raced thru my mind without any control.
how do u feel when families of the kids called up to ask if there's coaching class on the very day itself when u are in the midst of classes and u know that u have to answer them?the reason they tell me that they din find anyone in the class at 2pm! absurd! every week aso have class de unless we inform them!!!!
how do u feel that things regarding co*c*ing class de is not informed to the related ppl?or rather i feel indifferent. just that sometimes things tat one does seem like quite secretive? i may be wrong and i hope that i am wrong n i shldnt be thinking it but once bitten twice shy. one time i can take it.twice i suan le. thrice hmmm...cant help suspecting what's the motive.i feel that it is just not right not to keep related ppl in the loop and i did mention bout it directly how emails shld be done.maybe it is unknowingly and i hope it is.
how do u feel again when things temporarily are not within ur control but the finger is pointing to you?bu shuang is how i feel strongly cos i m not taking the control within that period of time! what do u want me to do?putting surveillance cameras in the class n taking note of everyone's behavior??u said that i din hand over properly to person next in line. i even plan bout who to allocate the kids to every mth le.and how do u expect me to control how she wants to take control the class?how do u expect me to take care of every detail when i arent even been kept in the loop of things.wo zhen de hen bu shuang how u handle things cos u think that i m responsible and obligated to take care of the class even though i m not helping out currently. the way u n the big I think is the same..too taken ppl for granted for things.
this thing cant be just suan le..i just think that in any cases when u are too over-board i ll defend for myself and i hope that u just wun think that i m crazy or what.just take it that i have to let out lo.


2nd thing is...in summary form, the pictures after the cake cutting for my birthday party are gone into the space. mistake mystery whatever it is. i still cant take the fact that they are gone. pushing the blame to who?shld be myself too since i m too duno what to take out my own camera to take.suan le...gone means gone..xin tong? yes very...greatly but i cant do anything about it.


3rd thing is miscommunication part..duno is miscommunication or what..but haix...my dear chan din go for the award ceremony dinner.pity pity and a pity... but haix...


oh ya...mentioning bout my breaking down..yaa stun by my own actions but it still happened. and i m trying to stand strong n firm..to remain the same sk since it is just another part and parcel of my life ba...so mian qiang to think like tat...but bo bian ar...keep thinking meh?..wun solve problem too..



sk hereby hoping that miracle will happen.